Sometimes
Sometimes, I feel scared and anxious for no real reason. Sometimes, I feel insecure and need reassurance. Sometimes, it feels like my heart is in my throats and my stomach is full of lead. Sometimes, the thoughts swarm my brain stinging like bees, demanding I pay attention. Sometimes, I need help but I rarely seek it. Sometimes, the days are bleak and gray. Sometimes, I think it would be better if I went away. Sometimes, I am desperate for some feeling of control. Sometimes, I feel lost and alone. But sometimes, I feel happy. Sometimes I feel loved and wanted. Sometimes, I feel beautiful, intelligent and strong. I wish that sometimes, the good times happened more often. Sometimes, I am in so much pain I can't even breathe. Sometimes, it's tolerable and I can forget the disease destroying my insides. Sometimes, I feel sick for no reason. Sometimes, I get sick for no reason but there is nothing to throw up.