Spinning into nothing
Hi. I’m here again. Sliding down into the black hole, walls too smooth to grasp. Why? Because no matter what I do, I feel like I am falling from the moon to earth without a parachute. And I’m scared and out of control and can’t stop. I’m trying. I keep trying. And I keep failing. Like I can only hold on to one monkey bar and the second I reach for the next one, the first one is too slick to hold on to but that second one is now too far away and I fall. And things get weird and then everyone walks away and I’m alone and still falling. Is there anything I can do to get control again? That’s all I need. Control. I haven’t felt in control of my own life for a long time. Like my life is some game being played by a chimp on speed. How do I get control again! I need a solution because the ground is coming up fast and I still don’t have a parachute or anything to grab on to so I can slow down. Maybe I can close my eyes and pretend everything is ok? Maybe I can pretend that peo