Let me introduce you to my demons- first up anxiety

My darling girl, they don't love you like I love you.
I tell you only the truth, confirm the things you already fear to be true.
Because I love you. Because I need you.
They were right to tell you not to reach so high, to stay where you belong. 
But you didn't listen to us then. You had to prove us wrong. But we weren't wrong were we?
No darling, you know now that this is too much for you, better to just let it go.
Remember that we told you that you would never deserve love or happiness?
You didn't listen then either, now look at you?! A 32 year old divorcee pretending she can make it on her own. You know you can't though. 
Even he doesn't love you like I love you. He doesn't understand what it's like when I visit.
How I make your heart pound.
How your mouth becomes too dry to speak.
How your thoughts race around your head like a school of angry sharks tearing apart your dignity, your sense of self, everything you try to fool yourself into believing.
You know I only release the thoughts because I care for you. No one will love you like I love you.
I am there for you always. I am there when you sleep, when you dream. I remind you who you really are, so when you wake up you will remember that you don't deserve any of this.
You will ruin this one too, this relationship, because you know I am right. You are unworthy. He knows too. It's only a matter of time.
You keep trying to end our affair. You keep trying to shut me out, to live without me by your side, but you know you can't do that. You aren't strong enough to defeat me. So while I turn the whispering doubts you have into screaming banshees, you will destroy everything else you love.
You know that no one can love you like I love you. No one understands you like I do, knows exactly what you need to hear.

You have really let yourself go, you know. No one will want to touch your disgusting rolls of flab. You eat too much. Do you really need to eat all of that sandwich? No time for lunch today? Well no worries, you could stand to miss a few meals. Maybe you should start skipping breakfast? Lunch isn't always necessary.

You know those people you call friends? They don't really give a damn about you. You try so hard just to fit in and yet everyone still hates you. You know I'm right, girl. They can see right through your pathetic excuse of a mask. They know you are damaged. They know you are weak.

Even your daughter is happier where she is instead of with you. 

It would be best for everyone if you just let go. Come back to me, my love and embrace the truth: that you are unworthy to even live.


What is this? You are fighting me? Oh how pathetic, girl- do you really think you can win? 
Do you really believe a few little pills will keep me away from you,  my love? You will never be rid of me.
Don't you understand yet? I am with you always because you made me! Just as Frankenstein created a monster, so too did you create me. I am the one who will stir your perception of reality until you don't know what is right or wrong anymore, what is truth and what is fake. I will make your heart race again. This medication won't always make me quiet.



I will be back again,  my love. And you will embrace me again. One day, I will make sure everyone sees through your mask, sees who you really are.

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