The biggest fool in the world
Reality sucks.
In my dream world, I would be able to become a business owner and make it big quickly. In my dream world, I left my last job on good terms, when I was ready and had saved enough to fund my business. In my dream world, the man I love would support my dreams and stand with me through thick and thin because he believes in my dream too. Of course, in my dream world, I would have no issues with money, job loss, depression, anxiety, and eating cake makes you lose weight.
In reality, I was making slow progress focusing on my business only some of the time. I was comfortable at my job because it was easy and I didn't suspect things were going on behind my back that would ruin my plans. In less than a month, I went from being a great employee to public enemy number one and I don't really know why. I left on bad terms because I couldn't keep my temper in check and told the CEO of the company what I really thought of him. Loudly and to his face. It was a rather epic screaming match.
So I quit in anger and now stew in the regret of that momentary lapse in control. Too late to take it back now, as I finally did reveal 100% of my true opinion of my boss. No matter, looking back at it, it will probably be for the best in the long run, because I was getting too confortable. Complacent. I should have left a long time ago rather than tolerate the continued instability and hostility of the work environment.
Reality sucks.
In my dream world, the man in my life was with me and wanted the same things I did for me. In reality, what I thought to be a mending of things wound up being just him "wanting some simple pussy." Well sorry darling but things are never going to be simple with me. So I don't have his support. What I do get are his lectures and berating that I am not doing enough, that I should give up on my dream and just settle for anything.
In reality, I may not be able to eat cake and lose weight. But I can just not eat. Not that I could keep it down anyway because I'm so stressed. Either I am spending my day rushing to the bathroom because I try to eat or I wind up with a terrible headache and being unable to sleep because I didn't eat.
Even my father tells me to give up on my dream.
I really am the biggest fool in the world. I thought that I could trust people again. Turns out, I really can't.
In my dream world, I would be able to become a business owner and make it big quickly. In my dream world, I left my last job on good terms, when I was ready and had saved enough to fund my business. In my dream world, the man I love would support my dreams and stand with me through thick and thin because he believes in my dream too. Of course, in my dream world, I would have no issues with money, job loss, depression, anxiety, and eating cake makes you lose weight.
In reality, I was making slow progress focusing on my business only some of the time. I was comfortable at my job because it was easy and I didn't suspect things were going on behind my back that would ruin my plans. In less than a month, I went from being a great employee to public enemy number one and I don't really know why. I left on bad terms because I couldn't keep my temper in check and told the CEO of the company what I really thought of him. Loudly and to his face. It was a rather epic screaming match.
So I quit in anger and now stew in the regret of that momentary lapse in control. Too late to take it back now, as I finally did reveal 100% of my true opinion of my boss. No matter, looking back at it, it will probably be for the best in the long run, because I was getting too confortable. Complacent. I should have left a long time ago rather than tolerate the continued instability and hostility of the work environment.
Reality sucks.
In my dream world, the man in my life was with me and wanted the same things I did for me. In reality, what I thought to be a mending of things wound up being just him "wanting some simple pussy." Well sorry darling but things are never going to be simple with me. So I don't have his support. What I do get are his lectures and berating that I am not doing enough, that I should give up on my dream and just settle for anything.
In reality, I may not be able to eat cake and lose weight. But I can just not eat. Not that I could keep it down anyway because I'm so stressed. Either I am spending my day rushing to the bathroom because I try to eat or I wind up with a terrible headache and being unable to sleep because I didn't eat.
Even my father tells me to give up on my dream.
I really am the biggest fool in the world. I thought that I could trust people again. Turns out, I really can't.
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